I Will Never Be With You
by Teh RiahBott
Summary: It was time she faced the truth. She was never going to be with him. [ Death Fic ] [ Not Suicide ]


Ok Guys this story, is based on the song You're Beautiful by James Blunt…Erm…Ya…

DISCLAIMER: I Do Not Own CCS Or The Song You're Beautiful and James Blunt, Only This Story Plot

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Sakura sighed sadly as she turned the page of the photo album. Stopping she gazed down at a picture and ran her finger along the edge of it.

'_Syaoran…'_ She thought _'It's been ten years…'_

Yet again sighing, only this time out of anger, Sakura slammed that album shut. On top of the album was the words Memories written in gold. With the album in a tight grip she threw it into the fireplace.

Walking into the kitchen, Sakura ripped the chair out from under the table. Grabbing a piece of paper.

_Syaoran,_

_It's time I face the truth…I will never be with you. I was blessed when I met you. I though an angel had smiled on me, and decided that we should be together. I though we had a plan. That I had a plan…but now I realize that we are strangers. We know who we are, but we know nothing about each other…if anybody asked me now, what your favourite colour was…or what your favourite food was… I would have to say I know._

_We are now nothing more than strangers on a street. I've waited, and waited. I see you face everywhere, even in the crowds on television. And I don't know what to do, but I know that I will never be with you…Good-bye._

_Sakura _

With tears flowing down her cheeks Sakura got up and grabbed a stamp from the kitchen drawer. Writing Syaoran's last known address on an envelope Sakura placed a stamp on it and walked out on the house to the mailbox. Placing it inside Sakura ran back inside.

Sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee Sakura's thoughts began to wander. When was the last time she had actually spoken, literally heard Syaoran's voice, or even seen his face for that matter?

Not wanting to dwell on these thoughts, Sakura picked up the phone and dialled the one person she knew was always there.

* * *

When Tomoyo had received a phone call from Sakura she didn't hesitate to run over to her house. Although Sakura had a brilliant life, she knew that it wouldn't last. Sakura currently modeled for Tomoyo's fashion industry, and was quite popular, but there was always a sad, longing look in her eyes.

Tomoyo clenched her hands in the taxicab. It was all because of that jerk! Normally Tomoyo prided herself in being able to accept anybody, and forgive him or her but she couldn't do it this time.

She remembered how happy Sakura was when Syaoran returned her feelings, and how happy they were for the first while. Then Syaoran slowly stopped talking, seeing her, or visiting at all.

Sakura had slowly fallen into depression after that and Tomoyo had to watch Sakura struggle to make it through each day.

Tomoyo had begun to worry more recently; Sakura's health had begun to wane. At first Sakura had just begun to sleep more, just seemed drained of energy, but slowly she began to eat less and less, and soon just washing became a chore.

Tomoyo had tried to convince her to see a therapist, anybody! But Sakura seemed to think that there was not a lot to life. She had become to speak more morbid, always asking why we live just to die. Tomoyo had given her so many reasons but none seemed to get through.

Pulling up at Sakura's house, Tomoyo quickly paid the driver and ran to the door. Knocking Tomoyo waiting in agony for what seemed forever for Sakura to open the door. A few minutes later she did, but narrowed for eyes at Tomoyo.

"Who are you?"

Tomoyo froze. "Sakura? It's me Tomoyo…you called…"

Sakura stiffened then let out a small laugh. "Tomoyo! When did you get here?"

Tomoyo looked at Sakura with confused eyes. "Sakura are you okay?"

"I'm fine Tomoyo. Why wouldn't I be?" Sakura asked.

Tomoyo gave one last look at Sakura before walking inside.

Sakura seemed to only worsen after that. That night Sakura had no recollection of calling Tomoyo, or even what she had done that night. After that Sakura seemed to forget things more and more easily.

"Sakura?" Tomoyo called out knocking on her door. She hadn't turned up for work and wasn't answer the phone. Worried when no one was answering Tomoyo tried to door only to find it unlocked. Paranoid Tomoyo quickly walked inside. "Sakura!" She called once again and once again receiving silence.

Running upstairs Tomoyo found the bathroom light on and the door open. Looking in Tomoyo let out a muffled gasp. Sakura sat on the ground staring blankly ahead. Her knuckles bleeding and scratch marks all over body. Looking up Tomoyo saw the mirror broken.

Cautiously walking closer Tomoyo saw blood underneath Sakura's finger nails, and put two and two together and deduced that scratches all over her body were from herself.

But…but why? Why would Sakura do that!

Snapping out of her shock Tomoyo ran into the hallway and grabbed the phone dialling 9-1-1.

* * *

Tomoyo stoically got out of her car walked towards Tokyo's Mental Institution. She had visited Sakura everyday since she found her a year ago. The doctors had told her that Sakura was slipping of the edge. In other words loosing her mind. The depression was only the starter. After she began to forget, they believe that she began to hallucinate.

Fearing she might do further harm to herself, they requested she placed in an institution, they asked her since she was listed as Sakura's next of kin, and the one who would make her medical decisions should she been unable too. Touya visited Sakura as often as he could, but he was currently residing in Kyoto, struggling to make ends meet with his new found lover, Yukito and their adopted son, Sakura's dad had died two years ago. And Syaoran…he died the moment he left ten years ago.

Walking into the visiting room Tomoyo saw Sakura staring out the window. Sakura was progressively getting better but the doctors said it would take more time. Sakura remembered everything now; the only battle was her manic depression. She had become extremely moody, and was still considered a hazard to herself. Sometimes Tomoyo thought she was literally insane. One moment Sakura would be screaming about murdering you and the next she would be giggling and smiling like all was right in the world.

Sitting beside her Tomoyo let out a smile. "It's a beautiful day neh?"

Turning to her Sakura let out a small smile. "It is…Tomoyo has anything come from…_him_?"

Tomoyo shook her head. "No…sweetie, please don't get your hopes up."

Sakura let out a sad sigh. "I won't… I won't."

Tomoyo hugged Sakura, telling her that she loved her and she would visit tomorrow…but little did she know that tomorrow would never come again for Sakura.

* * *

Tomoyo stifled a sob as she sat beside Touya's side at the funeral wake for Sakura. Two days ago, Sakura had another fit, only this time her body couldn't handle the trauma and stress and she went into cardiac arrest, and they weren't able to save her.

Touya wrapped an arm around Tomoyo give her a one armed hug, while he as well cried. Things had been going all right so far. Some of Sakura's friends had shown up, colleagues as well. For once the press respected there want for mourning and privacy and left them alone. Even some people from the institution came. Everything was fine until _they_ came.

Tomoyo hadn't even known what was going on until people were gasping at Touya who had just punched somebody. Getting up Tomoyo went to aid the person only to stop once she saw whom it was.

"You in grateful ass! It's all your fault! Your entire fucking fault! If you had never existed, never come here she would still be here! Still be here with me smiling again! Like everything was ok! Like she wasn't fading away!" By the end of his rant Touya was weakly hitting Syaoran too immersed in his sobs to care.

Syaoran laid on the floor in shock not moving. His mother stood to the side, her hand covering her mouth in shock. Yukito walked over the Touya with tears in his eyes and gently helped him over to sit in a chair. Tomoyo clenched her fists and walked over to where Syaoran now stood with his mother.

"Why are you here!" Tomoyo hissed. "Haven't you made our lives miserable enough!"

"Tomoyo, I-" Syaoran started.

"Don't even try to give me any excuses, this is all your fault, all of it, no matter how much you deny it! She's gone, never coming back, and it's all because of you!"

"Miss Daijoubu I believe this is all my fault. I forbid Syaoran to leave." Yelan said.

"It's all excuses!" Tomoyo yelled. Tears building up again. "If he really cared he would have found someone to be there for her, to be with her!"

"I thought…I though that if I didn't talk to her it would be easier for her to let go…" Syaoran said.

"Let go!" Tomoyo screamed with tears endlessly flowing. "She let go alright! She let go of everything! So much for it been easier! I'm sure it's much easier now that she's dead! No more suffering!"

Not able to take anymore yelling, Yukito approached them wrapping his arms around Tomoyo who sobbed into his chest. "I think its best you leave, Li."

"But-" Syaoran started only to be cut of by Yukito.

"You are clearly not wanted here please leave and don't make things anymore difficult then they have to be." Yukito's voices rang out, cold as steel.

Head bowed Syaoran walked away his mother following behind him silently. Mourning, but not quite sure for what yet.

The next day Sakura was buried on a hill in Tomoeda's cemetery. The hill had a lone Cherry Blossom tree on it and it overlooked the city. It was a lot reserved specially for Sakura.

Tomoyo walked away from the graveyard hours after Sakura had been buried, tears still streaming down her face. Not wanting to be alone, Touya and Yukito were staying at her house. Their son was there as well. Walking in Tomoyo saw Touya put down the newspaper muttering a good riddance before walking away.

Tomoyo looked over to Yukito who just gestured the open newspaper on the table. Cautiously looking down Tomoyo found herself looking at the obituaries. Looking up she asked, "What am I looking at?"

"Look at the bottom left," was all Yukito said before he left the room. Looking down Tomoyo saw an obituary for a Syaoran Li. Reading further it seemed he had drunk himself to death and was found on his bed in the morning. Laughing Tomoyo closed the paper. "More than what you deserve. Good Riddance, May you rest in Hell."

Walking away Tomoyo looked up at the ceiling. Things would be ok now, Sakura was living peacefully in Heaven now, hopefully not thinking about Syaoran, hopefully God had been gracious enough to let her forget.

Although Tomoyo wished Sakura was by her side she knew that this was were Sakura wanted to be. Sakura was suffering and now she was no longer suffering. With a lone tear falling down her cheek, Tomoyo walked into her video room to watch the happy memories her and Sakura had.

* * *

I hope that wasn't to depressing…I don't know why I wrote it…but hey I wrote it and its made me cry! I hope you enjoyed it…I really like happy endings…but I figured I'd be brave and write one where there wasn't one…Erm…please review and tell me your thoughts. 


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